Life is About Choosing

I've ever made a tweet

Life is about choosing and taking risks of what you've chosen

Right. 

Previously, I have decided to write a withdrawal letter to a university. I asked its board before how to withdraw, simply they said just write down your wish on e-mail and send it to them. 

I spent several days pending to write my withdrawal letter.

Until someday, I checked my e-mail and found a letter from that university labeled

Scholarship

there are approximately 4-5 foundations that will be able to accommodate my financial needy in that university. I've stopped thinking of that uni not only because of I don't get enough passion there but also financial problem. I didn't get any scholarships. 

I once thought that this would be a golden chance for me to get scholarship, and go to that college. I started to forget my main reason why I declined that uni.

I got confused. why not? these two things are not able to compare. I got two fine unis in their own country, and thank God, the faculties I get are the most favorite faculty at that uni, the one with medicine and the one with Chemical Engineering. 

and those scholarships make this decision even more difficult. 

I needed time to think clearly, to distinguish what I really want in this life. 

then, I cancelled my desire to write withdrawal letter. 

Furthermore, I see that

people in that medical school seem really-really-ambitious, well I mean

they're clever people obviously from their school

I'm just afraid, I'll be nothing there and thrown away like a trash.

How about the other faculty? 

I can't imagine as I don't know who will be my friends (beside Tania)

Then I asked some friends, and obviously myself.

finally I got the answer

so today, I finally succeed to write my withdrawal letter, I wrote down my reason,

and for the last time, I saw my application status

remembering how I have prepared for this uni 

remembering the time I followed this test in Jakarta

remembering on that time I was so sick that I didn't study for physics and I messed up with the test

remembering I forgot to bring my ID card and calculator

remembering I changed my 2nd choice because I was that desperate with the result of the test, but

remembering I got my first choice

everything was so beautiful for me right now

Thank God I was given that chance

Thank God for everything You have made in my life

For a year I got a lot of gifts from You

Goodbye 

this faculty had ever been my short-dream

cause I ever dreamed to be an engineer in a chemical company

or a scientist

but now, I realized 

that I've got my biggest passion ever

hopefully I'm not going to waste my time with what I've chosen.

please pray for me ;)